I went on Jerry Springer, to confess my love to you -The Ataris

I kind of feel like I haven't slept in DAYS. But really, I guess I haven't. I've been on that 3 hours at a time kick, which is not conducive to good rest. My grandmother tells me that all the time! That picture might as well be my face. 


So, I've been spending a lot of time with a friend of mine who happens to have WORSE car karma than me. I wasn't actually sure that was possible, however, it is. SOOO now, my fan belt is completely shredded. (whatever that is.) and I had to get towed,  and now fixed. and BLAHBLAHBLAH. Random car nonsense drama that won't go away. I'm really getting tired of it. So let's focus on something happy. LIKE THIS...






MY TOP 5 CELEBRITY CRUSHES OF ALL TIME!!! 


That's right. I'm kicking it people magazine style, and you're going to love it. I was talking about this list to someone the other day, so I decided I want to make it real. ARE YOU READY!?!  (these are in no particular order)

1. John Stamos- that's right. Uncle Jesse. Super hot, elvis look alike, with a guitar, a motorcycle, and a soft side? What's not to love? Besides, he has only gotten hotter with age. Seriously, Richard Gere, watch out for this one. Which shouldn't be hard, because I know I certainly can't keep my eyes off him. 










2. Taye Diggs- I know I've mentioned my love for Taye Diggs before. Over, and Over, and Over. Actually, he's even been mentioned in this blog before! What can I say I'm a sucker for a handsome black man with a huge smile. Seriously, look at my dating history. It's absolutely a type, just perhaps one not reflected on this list. I've never seen Taye (that's right, first name basis...) in a role where I didn't think he was gorgeous. He even made vampire teeth more hot than hype in Dylan Dog: Dead of Night. 






3. Jonathon Taylor Thomas-  Every girl I know was in love with JTT when I was in elementary school. My self included. I had pictures of him EVERY WHERE. I still maintain that he's a good looking man, but I'm not too terribly sure where the massive obsession came from back in my Tiger Beat days. When I said all time, you didn't really think that I was going back to 1995 huh? Well, I did. 



4. Paul Rudd- He might not be as smoking hot as some of the other people on my list. But, he just seems awesome. I know a lot of that is the roles that he is cast in, but I maintain that I am in love with type-casting. Again, I'm going back to the 90's with this one, because I have been totally butt crazy in love with Josh, I mean Paul, since Before Cher realized she was in Clueless.  Also, how awesome is that picture? (thank you Eric!)






5. Johnny Depp- I don't know anyone, male or female, who hasn't had a crush on Johnny Depp at some point or another. He's iconic, talented, gorgeous. And he plays a drunk pirate in one of the biggest movie franchises of all time. yum. 




(I think I have a thing for guys named John.. which is weird.) 


That's my list. well most of it. This was originally my top 10 celeb crushes. But like I said, I'm exhausted. So, until I decide to give it another go, you get 5. Go ahead and add these to your spank bank and enjoy your dreams!! I know I will. 

I feel in in the air, the summer's out of reach.

It is the First of August. We are in the home stretch of summer, and I realized this morning that I have done nothing to enjoy it. Here's my list of summer things I feel like I'm missing out on. 

• Swimming- I've only been once, on a Rooftop pool. Last summer I didn't swim much during the day but I was ALWAYS in the pool in the middle of the night. Stupid neighborhood pools stepping up their security.. 
• Been to the beach- I haven't seen the ocean. I haven't even seen SAND! Unless you want to count the sand at the bottom of the ashtrays at outdoor bars, which I don't. 
• Eaten mass quantities of Ice cream- I am OBSESSED with soft serve ice cream with rainbow sprinkles out the waa-zoo (it's a word, deal with it.) and I think I've had it 2 times this summer? All the best places to acquire this delightful treat are only open during the summer months. 
• GONE TO CAPTAIN GEORGES!!!- I have to say, being the fat kid that I am, this is the one that I'm truly upset about. It's just soooo good. I'm so serious. I would be bankrupt if I lived anywhere near it, because I would be there every single night. mmmm I think I just got myself a new goal in life. 
• Sat outside and enjoyed a good book- Honestly, I pretty much hate my neighbors, so if for some reason I'm home anytime other than to sleep or watch TV, I stay locked inside. Where they can't get to me. (only my mail, but that's another issue for another, crankier, blog) 
• Seen any really good shows- I'm a die hard believer that live music will save your soul, and I'm afraid my soul is in jeopardy. 
• Had a mindless fling- Summer romance is fun for everyone, until September that is. I had something going on, but well... yea, never mind. 
• Eaten Fish tacos- It's one of my goals in life to like fish tacos, so naturally I should find the best ever. I waste a lot of money on it. And my quest for the best Fish taco has not been working out for me this summer.
• Made S'mores- do I really need to explain it?
• Been to an amusement park- need roller coasters, NOW! 

That's quite a list, right? I'm sure there's even more things that I can add to it, but those are the one's I've thought about today. Well Jess, what are you going to do about this MASSIVE list of how much your summer sucks? I'm slowly going to check every thing off. Don't worry, I'll keep you posted.. 

Enjoy the rest of your summer guys! I know I will I've got months worth of good times to have in just a few short weeks. It's going to be a tough job, but somebody has got to do it. 

By the way, IT'S KARAOKE NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

obviously I'm pumped. 

i refuse to proofread my anger...

I'm really really REALLY angry.. 
here's the deal, I've never EVER had a flat tire. I know how to change one but I've never actually had one to change. That is, until 2 months ago. 2 months ago someone did something to tamper with the valve core stem (the thing a ma jig that makes sure the air stays in the tire when you fill it up..) so that sucked. Luckily i had a full size spare with hub-cap and everything to replace it with (rear passenger side.)

I had someone change it for me. Not because I didn't feel like I could, just because he was willing.. (THANKS DOUG!!!) and he did it without a shirt on. Now, if this had been Taye Diggs, (pictured) I would have been the happiest girl alive, but he wasn't so i was still pretty pissed. 


Now, at least 2 months later, it happens again! only this time I'm actually driving home from work, and of course I've had a beer or two, or whatever, and i get into my air-conditioned free car and i hear what sounds like air coming out of something.. I listen closely and the sound changes into something that i don't recognize. (like i said, it's never happened to me before.) so i pull into a parking lot to investigate because i just feel like something is wrong, my dad asked later, you didn't notice that your car was driving funny? Well, no I didn't, because it was driving fine. BUT ALAS! my tire was flat. Front driver side this time. 


Fast forward 20 minutes, I'm on the phone with my mom and my uncle Rusty, Flipping out because i feel like i should be able to do this on my own. I mean i spend a lot of time driving on my own in my car in the middle of the night on not so frequented roads, what happens to me then? So I'm pissed that this is happening again, frustrated that I can't fix it alone and i have to pee so frigging bad. I'm literally jumping on my lug wrench but i can only loosen 2 of them. I actually yelled at my mom and uncle (for which i feel horrible) but i was pissed. and i couldn't help it. 


within 20 minutes, as promised, my re-reinforcements show up, (THANK YOU JESSE REPASS!!) and 10 minutes later I'm walking back from the dark corner i found to pee in and he's putting the flat into the trunk and I'm like... WTF!? I'm so grateful that he was there for me and was able to do what i couldn't, my mom told me i loosened it for him. Apparently that's a womanly rule that i missed in my adolescence. 


Anyways, neither time was it any huge inconvenience, but add to this the first time my brake line was also cut, i really truly feel like someone is out to get me. I'm furious. I don't often do mad, i get aggravated, frustrated, and annoyed, but mad isn't my style, takes way to much energy. 


That being said, allow me to take this opportunity to say; whoever is screwing with my car, I will find out. You will regret it. Just stop now, before you've really pissed me off. Believe me, you're much better off that way. 

Facts

The people who really know me really well, they know me really well. Redundant? you bet your ass it is!

They know i like my TV shows silly and dramatic
they know i watch them in excess
they know i really would rather not wear pants when i watch tv
They know when I want to go out, i'm all in and they better be too
and they know when i don't there's no way i will.
They know i like my pizza with pepperoni and pineapples
I like blue cheese better than ranch.
They know I like my vodka and my sprite a perfect 50/50
and they know i REALLY like my vodka..
They know i drink my beer with lime, but there better not be a lime in it.
They know i like my music loud, but so no one else can hear.
They know i love dresses, but i'm too lazy to shave my legs.
and they know when i decide i like something I obsess over it.
They know that my job comes first and i come second
they know that date night is sacred
but boyfriends are whack.
They know i hate kids, but they light up my life.
they know that music is the only religion i will ever need.


and hopefully, more than anything, they know that i love them. (whompwhomp who ordered the cheese!)

postscript- i did not read this over again before i'm posting it.. so deal with the errors, run-on sentences, and the random blah blah blah..  XOXO

I'm sitting here on my bed after my long "rough-morning-at-work-so-i-deserve-a-nap" nap, eating cold pizza (my favorite way to eat pizza), watching Beverly Hills 90210 (the original), and trying really really hard not to stress out.

It's pay day today, and usually on payday I treat myself to a full tank of gas,  pay off a couple of bills, and take my self out to dinner or something. Not this pay day. My Paycheck was about 1/3 of what it usually is, which is upsetting enough, but I also don't get paid again until after my rent is do. que sera, no big deal, I'm still a server I'll pick up some shifts and make it work, I always do.

Also, I have this HUGE event at work to plan. It's an annual event, and it's always a ton of fun, and it's for a good cause. I've helped out every year and attended everyone that I could, and like I said. TONS of fun.. but this time I'm in charge. I have to make it a ton of fun, and make it a huge success.. Holy crap. I've been going through the coordinators manuals all day and calling people trying to get sponsors and donations and this and that and it's already a lot and it's only day 1. I've got a loooonnnnnggggg way to go. 

This is an example of the event I'm planning. The Annual Bartender Olympics. This guy is one of the top flair bartenders in the world... he's pretty much amazing. 

Anyways, that's not why I'm stressed out. I'm stressed because it's really hot in my apartment and now I have nothing to watch on TV. Life's hard huh?

x's and o's boys and girls..

1

Tell me like it is. The reasons you can't leave.
Explain it all to me,
Because all I see are inconsistencies.
I know you're not an idiot
and you have a quick tongue, so tell me what it is?
I don't want to be angry but my eyes are red again.

Damn you Kelly Kapowski...

As I'm writing this I have no idea whether or not that link worked.. because contrary to what my boss thinks I'm not computer savvy in the slightest. But I tried. And if it worked I hope you enjoyed that blast from the past, If it didn't, not only do I suck at internet, but I'm sorry you're missing out on the Saved by The Bell theme song. I love saved by the bell, I love it when I was little and it came on tv (with city guys , which no one seems to remember any more) I still love it  watching it every morning while i get ready for work.I have an I LOVE ZACK MORRIS tee-shirt.  It's a classic and I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS!!! ok, I feel better.

I don't remember what my initial point was, but now it's that Mark Paul Gosselar (zack morris) is still smoking hot.

I am currently distracted by his new show Franklin and Bash. There for I have a little too much drooling going on to type.